Our travels to date have been amazing for Paige & Sadie and their budding independence.
City Slickers
Coming from NYC, the girls were on a relatively short leash. City living means you're constantly bombarded with "safety" hazards - cars, bikes, scooters, sketchy people, etc. The girls were little while we lived there, so we tried to set basic safety rules early on & stick to them. Things like . . .
Always wait for the "walking man" to cross the street.
Always look both ways before crossing, even with the "walking man".
Always hold hands with an adult while crossing the street.
Once they were scooting & could jam ahead of us, we set a rule that they could run/scoot ahead of us, but only until the corner; they were not allowed to turn the corner without us.
So basically they were never out of our sight without trusted adult supervision. They knew & understood these rules and were really good about sticking to them. They got so good about following these rules that they would even rat out visiting grandparents/friends for crossing the street before they had the "walking man" :)
The other funny thing about living in a city is that you rarely see the sky. Or wide open expanses and views. You live in a vertical world and miss out on little things like stars in the night sky.
In the scheme of it, we've spent relatively little time in cities while traveling this year. And those that we did visit, were only short stops. Copenhagen, Lisbon, Dubrovnik, Athens, Tel Aviv, Delhi and Bangkok. In the cities the girls slip their hands into ours without us even asking them to. They know that when we get into crowded places (or situations), they need to stay close and not let go. They squeeze our hands a little tighter in some places where their fair skin/eyes calls even more attention to them, and the touches, kisses, hair strokes & pats from locals are abundant.
Bursting the City Bubble
City time relatively limited, it means we've intentionally spent the majority of our travels in places like . . . remote spots, small towns, beaches, wide open spaces. We've seen more sunsets and night skies in the past five months than in the past five years combined probably! It's glorious.
With that space, it's meant we've been able to give the girls a longer leash to explore and experience on their own. It's often little things, that to others might not seem like much, but to the girls is purely intoxicating with excitement and independence! Little things like:
Hanging out in the front garden area of our Hoi An hotel (Ha An), enjoying the hammocks and swings - but with Mommy & Daddy completely out of sight! They'd be outside for good stretches of time - often up to an hour - without any contact with us, and perfectly happy! They'd always tell us where they'd be "Mommy, we'll be at the hammocks/pool table". I'd peek out from the room once or twice, but it was all them. No parent within arm's length.
We took this concept even further in Hoi An. There was an amazing photography exhibit down the street by world renown French photographer Réhahn. He spent more than 8 years documenting all 54 ethnic groups in Vietnam. His relentless efforts & patience to access very remote tribes and earn their trust, makes for some truly remarkable and beautiful photographs and relics. Doug & I wanted to check out the exhibit, but the girls weren't interested. It was the equivalent of maybe 2 city blocks away from our hotel. We told the girls they could stay & play at the hotel (but not leave the property) and we'd go to the exhibit. 30 minutes later we came back and all was well; win/win!
Similar scene in Koh Lanta island where the girls would bound out to the beach or restaurant area all on their own for long stretches.
We wanted to hike all the way up Phousi Hill to see the sweeping views of Luang Prabang. The girls were happy staying at the base of the hill next to a golden buddha. We left them at the base and returned a good 30+ minutes later!
Leaving the girls to sleep in our dessert tent (Wadi Rum, Jordan) while me & Doug went on a one hour sunrise camel ride. Best decision ever not to wake them to join us. Admittedly, this one made me nervous. You could only lock the door from the outside, so instead of locking them in, we left the door unlocked. My mind definitely wandered to worst case scenarios while we were atop the camels. My heart eased when we came back and found them still snoozing in their cozy beds. They knew we were going to go without them, but when we returned, they didn't even realize we had left!
Even little things like the girls choosing to have their own table at restaurants :)
We never would have been able to provide these kinds of independent opportunities to the girls in NYC. Nor were we really at a comfort level with the surroundings to do so. On the road we've felt very safe with our surroundings and the local people; enough so that we haven't worried about their safety or well being when we let them have time away from our direct supervision.
The girls crave - and appreciate - these hands-off, independent moments. You can tell by the way they talk proudly of what they did while they had time to themselves, and the big grins on their faces. The space to be on their own also provides them unique bonding time.
They're at a stage where they crave independence and we're learning how we can give them that in a safe/controlled way - where they feel the autonomy and we feel comfortable. We'll have to sort out how we continue to give them these special, adult hands-off moments and experiences on the other side of our travels :)
Kommentare